WORDS

I am just finishing the book Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky .  It is one of the BEST books I’ve ever read.
  You can always tell how much I like a book by the amount of pages I have bent in half or the amount of pages with corners creased over.  I love my kindle, but there is nothing, nothing like the pages of a real book.
I could write several posts about different “themes” or ideas I got from the book.  I am only choosing one today because it applies to a conversation I recently had with a coworker
She’s been in an “on again, off again” relationship with a guy for several years.  Her reasons for sticking around despite his questionable behavior are justified by her naive idea of seeing his “potential”.  Why do women do this? Why do they fall in love with the potential of a man, and not the man himself? Always hoping that what they think he can be, is what he will be if they just try hard enough; if they just give him some time. 
"And that’s how it always is with these beautiful Schillereque souls; till the last moment they dress a man up in peacock feathers, till the last moment they hope for the good and not the bad; and though they may have premonitions of the other side of the coin, for the life of them, they will not utter a real word beforehand; the thought alone makes them cringe; they wave the truth away with both hands, till the very moment when the man they’ve decked out so finely, sticks their nose in it with his own two hands."
Here is my question.  How MUCH time do you spend trying to change a person into what you hope they can be?  How much time do you spend convincing yourself that one day, in some instance, this person will see the light, they will meet their potential?  How many times will a man prove to you that he is not a good man before you decide it for yourself? years? that seems like a lot of life to waste.
It isn’t just my coworker who has battled this, I have several friends who have stayed in relationships far too long because they are either hanging on to something that is already gone or gripping onto hope for a future that is never guaranteed.  They often share their stories and ask advice but seldom do they take it.  It seems the fear of being alone outweighs the heaviness of being with someone who isn’t right for you.
I did similar things in a past relationship.  Ultimately what it has done is change me, it never once changed the person I was hoping would do the changing.  People are who they are, and all of your efforts, no matter how well intentioned, will make no difference in a person who is not willing to make a change. For the most part, the more time you spend “working” on this person, the more you convince them that there is no reason to change at all, you’ve already stayed long enough to prove that.  
Dear women, your job is never to convince someone to love and respect you.  This should be given freely, no strings attached.  If someone’s way of being in the world is disruptive to who you are and the way you feel, move on.  Life is too precious, and unbelievably short.  New people can’t love you the way you should be loved if you’re stuck convincing someone else that you’re worthy.  

I am just finishing the book Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky .  It is one of the BEST books I’ve ever read.

 You can always tell how much I like a book by the amount of pages I have bent in half or the amount of pages with corners creased over.  I love my kindle, but there is nothing, nothing like the pages of a real book.

I could write several posts about different “themes” or ideas I got from the book.  I am only choosing one today because it applies to a conversation I recently had with a coworker

She’s been in an “on again, off again” relationship with a guy for several years.  Her reasons for sticking around despite his questionable behavior are justified by her naive idea of seeing his “potential”.  Why do women do this? Why do they fall in love with the potential of a man, and not the man himself? Always hoping that what they think he can be, is what he will be if they just try hard enough; if they just give him some time. 

"And that’s how it always is with these beautiful Schillereque souls; till the last moment they dress a man up in peacock feathers, till the last moment they hope for the good and not the bad; and though they may have premonitions of the other side of the coin, for the life of them, they will not utter a real word beforehand; the thought alone makes them cringe; they wave the truth away with both hands, till the very moment when the man they’ve decked out so finely, sticks their nose in it with his own two hands."

Here is my question.  How MUCH time do you spend trying to change a person into what you hope they can be?  How much time do you spend convincing yourself that one day, in some instance, this person will see the light, they will meet their potential?  How many times will a man prove to you that he is not a good man before you decide it for yourself? years? that seems like a lot of life to waste.

It isn’t just my coworker who has battled this, I have several friends who have stayed in relationships far too long because they are either hanging on to something that is already gone or gripping onto hope for a future that is never guaranteed.  They often share their stories and ask advice but seldom do they take it.  It seems the fear of being alone outweighs the heaviness of being with someone who isn’t right for you.

I did similar things in a past relationship.  Ultimately what it has done is change me, it never once changed the person I was hoping would do the changing.  People are who they are, and all of your efforts, no matter how well intentioned, will make no difference in a person who is not willing to make a change. For the most part, the more time you spend “working” on this person, the more you convince them that there is no reason to change at all, you’ve already stayed long enough to prove that.  

Dear women, your job is never to convince someone to love and respect you.  This should be given freely, no strings attached.  If someone’s way of being in the world is disruptive to who you are and the way you feel, move on.  Life is too precious, and unbelievably short.  New people can’t love you the way you should be loved if you’re stuck convincing someone else that you’re worthy.  

Passion makes a person stop eating, sleeping, working, feeling at peace. A lot of people are frightened because, when it appears, it demolishes all the old things it finds in its path.
No one wants their life thrown into chaos. That is why a lot of people keep that threat under control, and are somehow capable of sustaining a house or a structure that is already rotten. They are the engineers of the superseded.

Other people think exactly the opposite: they surrender themselves without a second thought, hoping to find in passion the solutions to all their problems. They make the other person responsible for their happiness and blame them for their possible unhappiness. They are either euphoric because something marvelous has happened or depressed because something unexpected has just ruined everything.

Keeping passion at bay or surrendering blindly to it - which of these two attitudes is the least destructive?

I don’t know.

—Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes

I thorougly enjoy it.

Cathartic
The past few months have been a whirlwind.  Many, many lows.  Much loss and grief.  If I have learned anything from life lately, it is to be open, open, open. Open to good and open to bad.
WIth everything going on,  I needed to find my balance. This is where yoga has played a crucial part in my life.  It has reminded me to be present.  To nurture my body as well as my mind.  I go, set an intention on my mat, breathe in all of that which I want to cultivate in my life and breathe out all that is negative around me.  
My fellow yogis can relate to the discomfort experienced in certain poses.  Frog is this pose for me.  It is a struggle of body and mind, my own muscles fighting against themselves.  
In my class over the weekend the instructor had us stay in this position for what seemed like an eternity.  With each drop of sweat, I battled with myself to stay in the pose—how incredibly uncomfortable it was. As I almost gave up, my teacher mentioned the word cathartic. You stay in this pose for so long and feel this discomfort because once you sit through that pain, once you feel it completely and take it at full force, it is released. You are released and it no longer hurts.  Your body is accepting..
He had been talking about the physcal body but his message hit a cord with my emotions.  A light bulb. yes, yes and  yes.  That is the answer.
Cathartic.
Pain is meant to be felt.  We can not run from it, we can only feel it and feel it some more until we accept it.  Pain is not the worst thing, greif is not the worst thing.  It is a stepping stone.  A guide to acceptance.  Merely a stop on the way.  It does, in fact make you stronger.  It does infact, make you more grateful and concious and open.  If you are afraid of pain, you are imprisoned.  Allow yourself to feel and be free and let go. 

Cathartic

The past few months have been a whirlwind.  Many, many lows.  Much loss and grief.  If I have learned anything from life lately, it is to be open, open, open. Open to good and open to bad.

WIth everything going on,  I needed to find my balance. This is where yoga has played a crucial part in my life.  It has reminded me to be present.  To nurture my body as well as my mind.  I go, set an intention on my mat, breathe in all of that which I want to cultivate in my life and breathe out all that is negative around me.  

My fellow yogis can relate to the discomfort experienced in certain poses.  Frog is this pose for me.  It is a struggle of body and mind, my own muscles fighting against themselves.  

In my class over the weekend the instructor had us stay in this position for what seemed like an eternity.  With each drop of sweat, I battled with myself to stay in the pose—how incredibly uncomfortable it was. As I almost gave up, my teacher mentioned the word cathartic. You stay in this pose for so long and feel this discomfort because once you sit through that pain, once you feel it completely and take it at full force, it is released. You are released and it no longer hurts.  Your body is accepting..

He had been talking about the physcal body but his message hit a cord with my emotions.  A light bulb. yes, yes and  yes.  That is the answer.

Cathartic.

Pain is meant to be felt.  We can not run from it, we can only feel it and feel it some more until we accept it.  Pain is not the worst thing, greif is not the worst thing.  It is a stepping stone.  A guide to acceptance.  Merely a stop on the way.  It does, in fact make you stronger.  It does infact, make you more grateful and concious and open.  If you are afraid of pain, you are imprisoned.  Allow yourself to feel and be free and let go. 

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything
to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way
to something unknown, something new.
Yet it is the law of all progress that is made
by passing through some stages of instability
and that may take a very long time.

And so I think it is with you.
Your ideas mature gradually- let them grow.
let them shape themselves without undue haste.
Do not try to force them on as though you could be today what time (that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will) will make you tomorrow.
Only God could say what this new Spirit gradually forming in you will be.

Give our Lord the benefit of believing
that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.

Pierre Teilhard 

A gem.

Sometimes I want to cry of sheer happiness. I look around and I face the sky and I thank the heavens for such beauty around me. How absolutely overwhelming it can be. To have a heart that is beating under a sky so blue. To have eyes that can see love, and ears that can hear it and a body to feel the warmth that it radiates.

Sometimes I want to cry of sheer happiness. I look around and I face the sky and I thank the heavens for such beauty around me. How absolutely overwhelming it can be. To have a heart that is beating under a sky so blue. To have eyes that can see love, and ears that can hear it and a body to feel the warmth that it radiates.

Do not forget that the value and interest of life is not so much to do conspicuous things…as to do ordinary things with the perception of their enormous value.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk

Friends, please help my best friend meet her fundraising goal! She has one week left! All proceeds will go to the Out of the Darkness Overnight walk to help suicide prevention. Let’s make sure no other family feels what my family and many others have felt.

Found this on the back of a card and loved it! Had to share.

Found this on the back of a card and loved it! Had to share.